Parents…. Are Forever!

Seeing our parents age is not an easy thing to assimilate.  As we mature and become older adults, I think time teaches us to appreciate our parents more.  I am blessed to still have my parents alive.  It is 10 years ago I almost lost my beloved mother to end stage colorectal cancer.  It was a traumatic and very difficult phase in our family’s life.  While my mom survived cancer, the effects of her aggressive treatment, both chemotherapy and radiation, are still lingering today.

As a mother myself, I can relate to the fear of
leaving our children when they are young.  Even though I was already in my mid 20’s when my mother got sick, the fear was almost paralyzing to me.  I can only imagine what she must have felt.  It was frustrating and debilitating; feeling useless, despair since I was unable to cure her myself.  I did however, try my very best to be there for her every step of the way.  It is something I won’t ever regret.

I learned absolutely everything regarding her condition, her treatment, medical history, etc.  I made and kept records of her appointments, medications, doctors/specialists and surgeries/procedures.  I felt this to be my responsibility.  I couldn’t depend my anyone else to step up to do so, I am after all her oldest daughter.  But especially because my dad was unable to manage any of it.  He was lost and full of fear.

This experienceparents was a blessing in disguise.  It strengthened our mother/daughter relationship.  I know my mom and dad are getting older with each passing day.  I know one day they will perish but I hope that it is many years from now.  I am not ready to be without them and highly encourage everyone to embrace their family, especially parents.  For we don’t know how much time we have left to enjoy them.  Learn to forgive if there are past issues and spend as much family time together as you can to create unforgettable memories!  Value and cherish your family always, especially your parents.

God bless.

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Selecting Wireless Carriers

Technology is always changing, and now more than ever, society strives to stay up to date with the latest gadgets and gizmos.  It isn’t any different when it comes to wireless devices.  The only real concern is selecting the best service provider.  Here are a few factors that should be carefully considered when considering establishing new or changing your wireless carrier:

  • Your budget – How much are you willing to spend each month
  • Individual or Family plans – Number of users per plan/family sharing
  • Talk & texting usage – How much do you need for talk and text – unlimited
  • Data usage – What do you need data for and can you wait until connected to Wi-Fi
  • Phone type, brand and model – Smartphones, what brand do you prefer; operating system apple or android

Cell Site Transmitter by GR8DAN

Due to the high demand and extremely competitive industry, people need to understand that all carriers work with the same technology, don’t share the same coverage area, nor operate at the same speed.  Usually, least expensive services are typically the carriers with limited service and quality.  Regardless of the advertisements, customers should shop around, and ask for trial periods with various carriers to check if they meet the expectations.  I had a very frustrating recent experience with Sprint PCS.  Not only is the quality of service poor, they are not up-to-par with other carriers, like Verizon, AT&T or T-Mobile.  They still need to develop and improve their network, coverage area and especially need to upgrade their technology.

Based on my own experience, for Long Island, T-Mobile is the best carrier for both value and service.  It is by far, the best wireless provider today, for the value and the products.  I highly recommend it to everyone.

Sweet Dreams

For a very long time, I was suffering from insomnia.  Not getting enough sleep was truly becoming a very worrisome situation to be in.  I was always tired and without energy and it was starting to show.  Little did I know that it was becoming a serious condition that needed some serious attention in order for me to rectify.

Sleep is essential, our bodies need to rest and replenish energy.  It’s like resetting out brain and recharging/refueling our bodies.  The amount of sleep we need varies with our age.  It is believed that most adults need 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night, however, many can do just fine with as little as 5 hours each day while others with as much as 10 hours.

After getting first-hand experience of how detrimental this was to my health, I starting putting in some extra effort into making sure that I was indeed getting the sleep I needed.

According to health studies, there are stages of sleep. 

  • Stage 1: is about 10% of our sleep, during this stage we can easily be awakened.
  • Stage 2: is about 45-50% of sleep. Brain waves slow down, body temp drops, breathing and heart rate remain constant
  • Stage 3 and 4: about 20% of sleep. This is the deep sleep stage.  It is the hardest stage to be woken up from.  Blood pressure drops and breathing slows.
  • REM (Rapid Eye Movement): about 20-25% of your sleep.  This is when the heart rate starts to increase, blood pressure rises and you lose some ability to regulate body temperature.  Most dreams occur during this stage.

It is important to get enough sleep.  Research also demonstrates that people with sleep problems can suffer from emotional problems, depression and anxiety.  It is also linked to obesity.   Lack of sleep an cause mood swings and can affect people’s personal and professional life.

There are a few tricks that helped me naturally get back to a healthy sleeping habit.  I started making sure that I got to bed early every night, no later than 10:30p.m.  Taking a nice shower or bath before getting ready for bed also helps unwind and get relaxed.  And my ultimate favorite, reading a bit right before bed.  This has proven effective and has helped me tremendously.  In earlier days, prior to me changing some of my evening routine, I would drink sleep-time tea or lavender & chamomile tea before bed.  And in extreme days, I would take a melatonin pill.

Take my advice, make sure you get enough sleep.  And seek the help of a health professional if necessary.

Make It a Day to Remember

Staying positive can sometimes seem impossible, especially during difficult life altering times.  Regardless of whatever you might be experiencing, I challenge you to smile.  Take a deep breath and remember that if today was tough, tomorrow will be better.  We can change our outlook in life, and without or with limited professional help.  I think our will-power is what makes the difference.  We need to find our motivation and drive, reminding ourselves that if we fell, even if we fell hard, we can only get up and start moving up from there.

If today was difficult, make it your personal mission to make tomorrow better.  And go from there on.  Make everyday a day to remember.

The Inner Child

Often, as we get older, we forget an important part of us; Our inner child.  We leave our inner child behind because we are getting older, growing up and maturing.  Our lives become full of obligations and responsibilities as we become adults.  But what happens to the dreams we once had?

Inner-Child-Onboard

I can’t seem to let go, no matter how old I am.  And find that the people that have forgotten theirs feel at liberty to judge and mock me.   Obviously I am not talking about acting or behaving as a child in a serious conversation or situation, that would be absurd.  But remembering that life is exciting, regardless of challenges and tough life events that we sometimes endure.  I think this has enabled me to develop and have a strong bond with my children.  Remembering how it was for me growing up, from a child to a teenager and then from teenager to young adult, etc.

We go through so many changes, emotional rollercoasters, sometimes often getting confused and feeling isolated without anyone to talk to comfortably.  By forgetting the changes, we once faced, how well can we help our loved ones and family members, most importantly our kids in their present?

Times are changing, society is losing many of the morals that our grandparents, parents and even some that we grew up with.  More liberties have been awarded to our youth nowadays, but if we establish close bonds, we can help steer the young ones in the right path.  This obviously won’t keep anyone from making mistakes, poor and wrong choices, but perhaps it can minimize the recurrence and especially the severity of such decisions that can later have grave consequences.

I encourage everyone to remember, even if we had struggles growing up, the precious moments that were full of peace and dreams from their childhood.  Let’s remember them today and never stop dreaming.  Let’s become better people by helping others become great individuals as well and strive our hardest to remain as positive as possible and always do good.  Even when other don’t do good onto us.  If we maintain our inner child somewhere in our current adult life, we can continue to enjoy life and still see that the simplest things can still make us smile today.  Hold on to your inner child today and always.

Graduation Frustration

Completing my undergrad degree is a personal milestone I have tried to complete in a 10-year span.  I have attended three different colleges in the process and while I am so close, finishing my very last semester, frustration lurks in due to the graduation requirements.

While requirements are legitimate for completing the degree, it can become very difficult when the requirements add on additional tension in our lifestyle.  An internship should serve the main purpose of offering students the experience of actual work related to their area of study and ideally the opportunity to gain employment after graduation.  But what happens when students are already working in a professional capacity and already exercising their learned school material?

I feel that schools should consider evaluating their students, understanding their actual needs for their study.  As an adult full-time student, single mother and full-time employee as a Project Coordinator and Regulatory Compliance Project Manager, I feel frustrated.  I have been completing an internship that I unfortunately do not find any added benefit in my line of work, nor has it increased my chances of promotion, or gained any knowledge that helps with my real work responsibilities.  Actually, the complete opposite.  This internship has increased my workload.  I am already doing the work of two professional roles/two full jobs, now adding a third one is overkill.

Nonetheless, I still need to graduate.  The frustration will subside soon; graduation is almost here!

 

 

A Peaceful Conscience

Not everyone can say that they have peace in their life.  Not everyone can say that they have stressors or any issues that rob away their inner peace.  However, after analyzing my personal experiences, while I live a hectic life that most people would agree upon, for a number of years; I live with a peaceful conscience.  There are very few people that have crossed paths with me that have gone out of their way to cause and inflict difficulty in my life but have still not managed to bring me down.  These people will never succeed in bringing me down, because if I fall, I just get right back up.

in harmony; calm, peaceful  by nobody16In Harmony; Calm, Peaceful (Chinese)

Not saying that every day is a piece of cake.  There are moments in life when we lose our cool, however, I find it difficult to walk around intentionally hurting others and pretending to be an outstanding person.  I know that there are plenty of sayings that say similar things, like good people are ruined by bad ones.  But if we go through life accepting this, then our existence is mute.   If we cannot rise about whatever circumstance that has made us fall, seek help.  But don’t let moments ruin the quality of person that you are and rob you serenity.

There is nothing more important in my life than being happy and being the best person I can possibly be on a daily basis.  In every facet of my life, personal and business.  Not saying I am the best human being ever, because I am full of flaws, but people that know me can attest of what I say.  And one of things that I love to do the most is inspire and bring joy to those around me.  I know we all have had some moments of misery in our lives, but we cannot let moments change us.  I know that a smile, a hug, an embrace can signify so much for a person that is struggling.  I know that we can make a difference every day, even if its tiny, it is still a difference.

Don’t let anyone rob you of your peaceful conscience and change who you are, your potential and always thrive to be better, for yourself and those around you.

What makes my dysfunctional family a functional family

When I think of what the word family means, I envision my children, spouse, parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins.  Exactly in that order.   I also consider very close family friends as part of my family, meaning those that don’t share the same blood and aren’t married into the family.

Speaking the other day with one very close family member, she mentioned that our family was in fact dysfunctional, as per her interpretation.  That statement made me a little uncomfortable, not because it was offensive but because it was inaccurate.  It seems that people use the description incorrectly trying to justify problems or differences with family members.  Sometimes by making absurd comparisons to what they now believe is a “better” family.

Honestly, I think the term dysfunctional to describe families should only be used by professionals that study, treat and counsel families and mental health issues.  Other than that, people in general should probably refrain from using the term without a true understanding of what constitutes being dysfunctional.

This brings me a simple conclusion.  No family is perfect.  Families are composed of a collection of human beings, that have their own personalities, way of thinking, character traits, defects, imperfections and indescribable uniqueness.  And frankly, just because we don’t see every family having or sharing the same differences that we might share with our own family members, doesn’t mean they all get along 100% of the time. The grass is truly not greener on the other side.

Family is family. And the majority of the time, there is plenty of love and unconditional support regardless of feelings and personal thoughts about some of the choices we make.   I don’t think my family is dysfunctional.  We are however a weird bunch!

What are your thoughts about your family?